Last night, I drank so much I African-Americaned out.– Zach Galifianakis
I failed kindergarten, because I couldn’t spell my last name.– Zach Galifianakis
The Ass ‘n Balls Show, from Zach’s time with Will Ferrell’s Comedy Tour.
Well, yeah, it doesn’t really allow my dice to roll, and by...– Zach Galifianakis, Out Cold
I want to open up a maternity shop and call it ‘We’re Fucked’.– Zach Galifianakis
When you look like I do, it’s hard to get a table for one at...– Zach Galifianakis
Zach Galifianakis on The Michael Showalter Showalter
I keep forgetting I have this damn thing. Sorry.
exclamation: hiphopology: Fu-Gee-La - The Fugees
Zach Galifianakis’ Comedy Central special, from 2005 (I think). You can see he’s still slowly shaking off his slightly more charismatic, TV-friendly persona from his VH1 talk show.
Fucking boring! Seriously! Goddammit! This is a DVD! I need dinosaurs, thunder,...– Zach Galifianakis
Did you see ‘Corky Romano’? Based on the Ray Romano story?– Zach Galifianakis
I finally added working comments. If you care.
Brian Unger interviews Zach’s “brother,” Seth Galifianakis. (From the Purple Onion DVD.) These brilliant segments are also the origin of the “Fugees and Funyuns” name, FYI.
Zach's CollegeHumor interview →
My headshot is a scratch-and-sniff. It smells like failure and onions.– Zach Galifianakis
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis, Episode 1: Michael Cera
Well, I just wish I was in a really cool show like ‘King of Queens.’...– Zach Galifianakis
My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron… and a lot like Patrick...– Zach Galifianakis
Did you ever wake up with an erection… and find yourself in a massage...– Zach Galifianakis
Just saw the Spin Doctors in concert. They were covering their own material.– Zach Galifianakis
Just saw the Pope on TV. Anyone else get nervous watching a German guy on a...– Zach Galifianakis